07-22-2009, 04:59 AM
I'm a 25 year old male. I recently had a brief relationship with a girl I was crazy about & who I thought felt the same. Until we had sex everything was fine but prior to our first time I knew in advance by about a week that she would be sleeping over. During this time I worked myself up into a panic about whether it would be ok as I had not had regular sex with anyone I cared about for around 2 years since the end of my last serious relationship. When it came to the night I lost my erection, albeit only briefly, when I came to put on the condom. Despite regaining my erection I was then so tense that the sex was awful and the atmosphere ruined. I became convinced that I had ruined everything and from that point on I felt that she had lost interest in me. A few weeks later the relationship ended and I became convinced that I needed 'practice' at sex. Since then I have been sleeping with a girl I don't care about and looking out for as many sexual partners as I can get. The problem is is that I feel I may hurt people I care about if I continue like this as I have started dating a number of my female friends. I know that what I'm doing is horrible but I'm so haunted by that night that I don't want to go without sex for so long again.
This is not the first incidence of sexual paranoia I've had. Whilst at uni I had the opportunity to sleep with a lot of girls but I turned them down because I was scared. I have had 2 serious girlfriends but even with them the first few times I had sex I was too tense to enjoy it. This problem improved with time. I work in an environment of macho types, today my boss said to me that if I didn't sleep with enough girls when I was young it would be my biggest regret. On the train home I almost had a panic attack thinking about the wasted opportunities I have had to become sexually experienced.
I know that this problem may not seem as serious as some but it needs to be dealt with. Even if no one has any advice it makes me feel better to talk to people about my problems, which is why I'm going to start speaking to a counsellor.
This is not the first incidence of sexual paranoia I've had. Whilst at uni I had the opportunity to sleep with a lot of girls but I turned them down because I was scared. I have had 2 serious girlfriends but even with them the first few times I had sex I was too tense to enjoy it. This problem improved with time. I work in an environment of macho types, today my boss said to me that if I didn't sleep with enough girls when I was young it would be my biggest regret. On the train home I almost had a panic attack thinking about the wasted opportunities I have had to become sexually experienced.
I know that this problem may not seem as serious as some but it needs to be dealt with. Even if no one has any advice it makes me feel better to talk to people about my problems, which is why I'm going to start speaking to a counsellor.